One of my first summer jobs was waitressing at a local well-known hotel chain. Though the establishment closed long ago, I will always remember the staff: the condescending owner who was a masterful humiliator, the bartender whose sense of humor was miserably twisted, two other waitresses whose mean streaks were a mile long, one chef who dripped sweat into the food he prepared and another chef who nearly collapsed when I thanked him for my order. WHAT MEMORIES!

While I was in training, the owner admonished me in front of table full of guests, ordering me to get new round of water because she claimed my fingers breached the rim of the glasses. It was an honest error and I was embarrassed, but the guests were graciously comforting. I don’t think they liked her either.

Another guest returned his Bloody Mary to the bar because he wanted it spicier, so the bartender dumped nearly half a bottle of tabasco into his glass. SHE SURE SHOWED HIM! She delivered the new concoction herself. I warned him before he took his next sip that the drink was really spicy, but took great pleasure when he gave the bartender a thumbs up for perfect heat.

The cranky waitresses made sure it was “always my turn” to wait on Brownie, a regular breakfast customer who routinely left bad tips. Even though we rotated service in repeat order, the schedule magically adjusted for me to serve him every time. In truth, the guy just wanted his bacon well done, and when I saw that it was, he rewarded me with tips that exceeded the cost of his meal…every time.

The sweaty chef was really a nice guy, but with regular scoldings and zero appreciation, he lost enthusiasm and got careless.

The younger chef was nice, too. Whenever an order was ready, he’d give a shout to alert the appropriate server. Without thinking, the first time I picked up my plates, I said “Thank you.” He yelled “GET BACK HERE!” I stopped in my tracks, backed up and looked at him, not understanding why he was so angry. So he glowered at me and said, “What did you just say?” I repeated, “Thank you.” With that, he melted into a warm smile and laughed. He’d never heard those words from the other waitresses and wanted to hear them twice in a day.

The sour attitudes and bad behavior among this restaurant staff were pervasive. Each employee infected the other with ingratitude, rejection, entitlement and contempt. I couldn’t stand working there any more than a month, but the lessons from the experience have lasted a lifetime:

  • Saying “thank you” can be magical.
  • Pleasing customers creates delight, for them and for you.
  • The subjective preferences of your customers are not to be judged or defied.
  • An infected group dynamic is not permanent, unless all members refuse to change.
  • We choose the impression we create.
  • Do not breach the rim of a water glass.

In a sense, you need a recipe to be memorable for your staff and your customers. So, borrow from a traditional classic. Or create one of your own. Just remember, tweak the mix till you get it right, customize for environmental conditions and most importantly, sample whatever you make!